Tuesday, October 2, 2012
Thursday, September 20, 2012
Thursday, June 7, 2012
Monday, May 28, 2012
Friday, May 18, 2012
Wednesday, May 16, 2012
Tuesday, April 17, 2012
And moving right along....
Yesterday, my niece Angel (well she isnt technically my niece anymore, but to me she will always be my niece) text me to tell me that she was diagnosed with Papillary Thyroid Carcinoma.... (Thyroid Cancer) its the easiest cancer to deal with, but my heart breaks that she has been through so much in her life. She will get through this a stronger young lady but if you would all keep her in Prayer that would be wonderful. And since we are on the subject, we all know I have Graves Disease.... well they found some new and bigger lumps on my thyroid. Im going in for a biopsy on April 24... Prayers for me would awesome as well! :)
Today on my way home, I got the call.... the call asking which day works best for Conner's cath lab... I spit it out as fast as I could before I just hung up on her. "I spoke to Dr Johnston he told me Tuesdays or Fridays.... we decided Friday May 18 would work best for us." And then she said "thats perfect......" and then lost me in my moment of racing thoughts of all the risks to heart catheterization.... I really wish my sweet boy could have a normal life and not have to go through all this. This heart cath will either fix the problems with the pressures in Conner's right heart, or tell us he needs open heart surgery to replace the conduit. Im feeling mostly optimistic about the procedure but it still terrifies me that my son will be sedated, intubated, and have yet another procedure... Can everyone please keep Conner in Prayer?
I will conclude this entry with this....
I have learned so much in my life, and I know I still have my entire life ahead of me. I have met many wonderful people in this journey, and I'm sure I will meet many more. I have also said goodbye to many people, and honestly thinking about it.... I think that was good thing. I have learned that not everyone thinks the same and that is okay. I have learned to embrace what was once my biggest fear. I have shed many tears and said many prayers for children that have earned their Angel wings... This life is different, this life is scary... but I have ALSO learned to focus on the good stuff! I have learned to "Cross that bridge only if I have too". I have learned to focus on the present.... SO when life is getting you down... Remember this, there are good and wonderful things happening all around you take time to stop and find those good and wonderful things. They will make you smile :) Don't waste your time on things that, simple put... do not matter. Focus on having good people and a good environment around you at all times, this will also make you smile! Did you know that it takes less muscles to smile than it does to frown? I want to have happy wrinkles when I grow up dont you? Find things to smile about!
Friday, April 13, 2012
Thursday, April 12, 2012
And now for the stuff that REALLY matters.....
Conner has begun to enjoy the great outdoors, he LOVES to be outside! He likes to explore the entire park!!! A few days ago it was a BEAUTIFUL day outside so I decided to take Conner to the park while Leo and Alex were at school. He saw a dog at the other end of the soccer field he gasps happily, points his chubby little fingers and yells in his cute little voice "Goggy!" (As we all know that means doggy) And then he decides he wanted to play with the doggy, he proceed to walk/run... well it was more of a jog really... 3/4 of the Soccer field (of course I was right behind him) and the entire time he saying "Goggy! Goggy! Goggy!" With my redirection, we never made it all the way to the dog. It was leashed and with its owner but ya just never know.... We explored more, he saw little purple flowers and daisies for the first time ever! ( I will be posting pictures from my phone) Every time he wanted to get down a hill in the park (ya know those small hills nothing too big) he would turn and around lay on his belly and scoot backwards down the hill... I thought it was the cutest thing! We are working on him holding my hand, its working but he is SO independent and VERY determined...When its nap time or bedtime he is very specific about what he wants... blanket, binky, monkey, cup and momma or daddy cuddling with him. He for some reason has to have the pressure of my cheek on his forehead or have his hand resting on my face to go to sleep. I think he knows what his little body went through.... he has an appreciation for life like I have never seen before!
Leo has really taken on the big brother role and loves his younger brothers to pieces! Alex and Leo argue alot like normal sibling rivalary stuff we are working on them learning how to problem solve together... a work in progress but so far so good. He is VERY protective of Conner and Alex, more so Conner because Alex is "older than Conner" Monday, Leo decided he was "sick" and came home early from school. (He didnt even walk in the building) When I asked him " Leo so why did you not want to go to school" he slipped up and said " Because I just didnt feel like going to school" I said "Oh....do you mean you are sick and thats why you came home early?" He said "Uh...Yeah" I said "Okay well sick boys who stay home from school stay in bed sleeping or reading" (Im trying to instill a good work ethic ya know?) I love how clever he is! He really is the sweetest boy... He is doing GREAT in school! He went from reading and comprehending at a rate of I believe 58 words per minute at the beginning of the school year and now he is at 118 in January. The other day when I picked them up after school we were walking to our car and the Principle stopped us and looked directly at Leo and said " Leo I want to thank you for being such a good friend to Christopher...he really needs a good friend like you" That was an Im doing something right moment! Im SO proud of him! He is really an amazing little guy who loves laughing and being silly....
Oh Alex, my sweet little character.... he is also doing awesome! He is so curious about everything around him! He has for some reason taken on the interest of cooking in the kitchen with me again. LOL I love this! He is my mommas boy for sure! Oh who am I kidding I have three mommas boys! LOL Alex and his classmate Zenith (a therapy dog) were pictured in the newspaper here in our local town! Zenith has really helped Alex I think....and for those of you who are wondering... no Alex is not in Special Education. Zenith is his teachers dog and she brings him to class with her.... here is a link where you can see the picture of Alex and Zenith and if you want you can vote for Zenith after reading the story:
Alex is doing great in school! He is learning how to do math he knows most of his letters and letter sounds. He is great at math and he has his "bad" days at school when gets distracted in class but they are getting fewer and fewer apart. I have never heard him complain of anyone making fun of him or anything so it seems as though he gets along great with everyone! All his classmates know me too lol they all say "Hi Alex' mom!" They cant seem to remember my name haha I think its just easier to remember one name.... Alex has been very attatched to me lately and I have to say I have no problem with that whatsoever! Before spring break Alex was very set on getting a mohawk.... I was very set on him NOT getting a Mohawk! We settled with a Faux hawk. (Posting Pictures from my phone)
Easter was great! We went to church......I learned alot that day :) Im excited to return this Sunday! After Church we had our normal Easter routine... well sorta.... we werent able to go to Grandma Jills this year because our car is acting up. Other than that Easter was great! Conner LOVED looking for eggs! Alex found lots eggs and one golf ball... who by the way doesnt like collared shirts lol all day he was saying "MOM I dont like this shirt!" Leo actually liked wearing his suit! I REALLY thought it would be the other way around lol! (Posting Pictures from my phone)
I found this AWESOME quilt on Pinterest.com
Well since it has a heart on it (like a carved heart) I made one for Conner. Then I decided to make more! Im going make Leo and Alex one too! Here is the picture of the one I made (Just finished it last night) this isnt a very good picture....but I hope you can see it okay.
Sorry for the long update but I dont get on the computer very often and its hard to update from my phone lol well not hard it just takes longer.... I hope all is well with everyone! Heart hugs all around xoxo ~Jessica
Tuesday, February 14, 2012
Adam you have such an important job up there in Heaven... That's why God needed you home so soon. He needed only the best of the best of Angels to watch over our Angels here on Earth... You are missed sweet boy....you captured my heart the day I first met you... I love ya little guy!
He was a sweet sweet boy. He was born just 5 days after Conner. I remember when I first met him, those big blue eyes and his uncertain but happy smile upon his face. Beeping monitor in the background because he was happily kicking his cute little feet and the pulse ox wasnt agreeing with him. I don't have a lot of memories with Adam except the many times I walked by his hospital room and if he was awake I would stand in the door way and make a fool of myself in front of all the nurses just to see his big blue eyes light up and see that big adorable grin upon his face. I would always take the long way around to Conners room so I could pop my head in on Adam.... I didn't care if all the new nurses who didn't know me would question me stopping by his room.... I never went in unless his mom was there with him in the room... I kind of regret that. :-(
Adam had Hypoplastic Left Heart Syndrome with one other thing but I'm not sure of the name. He spent all but two months of his life in the hospital. He ended up having to have a heart transplant in September 2011. I was him the day before they got the news that he had recieved and Angels heart. The next day his mom Casey called me to tell me the news I screamed and jumped up and down and to this day when Casey tells that story she says "it was like you won the lottery" lol I immediately said a prayer for the donors family. Then I cried. Soon after his transplant Adams aorta ruptured and he was bleeding out. The doctors were sure if he was going to make it through. Adam survirved that! He battled many cdiff infections. He was a strong boy, who no... He didn't lose his battle with CHD he won his battle.... He kicked CHDs butt! He touched so many lives and I will always tell his story!
On the evening of January 28,2012 he passed away in his mothers arms. He has an older sister named Ella so please keep her along with his mother Casey and his father Jason in your prayers. On February 11,2012 Adams service was held and it was a beautiful service filled with laughter and smiles. The way Adam will always be remember. I captured a few photos of his service while I was there and with his mothers permission Im sharing them with you....
Remember to spread awareness about Congenital Heart Defects. They are the number one birth defect and there are over 40 known defects. Nine out of ten heart defects can be detected at birth with a pulse ox test so make sure to tell everyone you know!
To donate in Adams honor go to
WWW.childrensheartfoundation.org and click donate on the right hand side.